25 Things We Aren't Bitter About: 21-25

Monday, February 16, 2009

25 Things We Aren't Bitter About: 21-25

. Monday, February 16, 2009

It came to our attention that certain elements of the blogoverse find us to be, shall we say, sarcastic and bitter. We have no idea why. Anyhow, the experience has inspired us to round up 25 of the things that give us the joy that only a bright Saturday afternoon game against the Cardinals can. These are in no particular order, and I suspect we'll likely end up leaving out some great elements of the Cubs universe. Feel free to correct us in the comments.So to the mysterious blog aggregator (or aggregatrix) who deemed us sarcastic and bitter - please consider the following declarations of joy and happiness. Oh, and fuck off.

21 - Pat and Ron

Earlier this year, while watching the Bears listening to Joe Buck date-rape my enjoyment of the game, Steve brought up the point that football would be a lot better with local color. The joys and sorrows of unabashed homers giving play-by-play is something about the Cubs that I'll always love. We love Santo for the non-sequitors and screaming. Others hate the play-by-play for exactly that. But a disinterested party? They can still suck - suck like Joe Morgan. Give me Pat's ugly sweaters and Ron's peg legs any day.

22 - Free stuff

What do bobbleheads, sponsored hats, and car flags have in common? They're all things I wouldn't ever buy on my own, but will show up early at the park and throw elbows to get. There's something about ballpark giveaways that really gets at the cheap hoarder in me. Isn't that right, Fukudome bobblehead on my desk?

Did he just poop a case of Pepsi?

He says yes. Repeatedly.

23 - The White Sox

I know what you're thinking. "The White Sox? FUCK the White Sox!" This is also what I'm thinking.

Jeez - the eyes follow you across the room

Isn't it great to have something to hate with all your might, like Emmanuel Goldstein in 1984? Everything that Sox fans love and value is wrong and terrible an un-American. And they think the same about us. The rivalry electrifies the city, and it frankly doesn't hurt that our side of town will always be the city's favorite. So thanks White Sox - because fuck you, White Sox.

24 - Salt & Pepper Diner

Lionel Richie and Old Style. Shit yes.

I swear, this will one day be it's own post. In a sea of over-priced game day "specials" and some of the most horrible bar food outside of Kuwait City, Salt & Pepper diner offers a kickass chef's specialty breakfast burrito (ask for extra jalapenos) and six dollar pitchers. You can go to Cubbie Bear and get a room temperature can of Miller Lite for a dollar less. Is there any doubt that it's a pre-game WAIW favorite?

25 - The Cubs fan community

Alcohol may have been a factor

In the end - and because we're in need of a melodramatic emotional conclusion - there's nothing about being a Cubs fan that beats getting to know other Cubs fans. Whether it's commenting over at COI, bullshitting with other fans in the 500 section, or debating the finer points of why Jason Marquis sucks with a bartender, the Cubs fan community is the most rewarding one in sports. You can always tell within five minutes of good Cubs conversation whether someone's a true blue fan, or they're just around to hitch on to the eventual reflected glory of The Year. Hell, we'll even take those bandwagon hoppers, because we're Cubs fans, and as a result, we're better people for it.

This has been fun. Thanks for showing up.


Josh said...

I have the Zambrano call as the ringtone for my father. It was the only game I got to make this year and my first since moving to Chicago.

I also got to catch 720's broadcast at night living in Western Minnesota since it traveled so well in the evenings.