New Cubs - Part 1:The A-Hole

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

New Cubs - Part 1:The A-Hole

. Wednesday, January 7, 2009


"Okay, next pull down the library backdrop. This is going to be the best senior picture ever!"


Steve and I have disagreed about the whole Milton Bradley thing since about middle school - which is odd, because Bradley didn't get into the league until 2000. Steve rightly posits that we need the offense - especially from the left side of the plate, and I just can't get past the fact that he's possibly the craziest baseball player to set foot in Chicago since Carl ("dinosaurs aren't real, and neither is the moon landing") Everett. A tasting menu of crazy:

- This L.A. Times article about the cops coming to his house three times in a 33-day period. When you get down to about the tenth paragraph, you find this little gem

“Victim stated suspect used his hand to grab her hand to force her to hit herself in the face. Victim was interviewed a [second] time and changed her stories. [Insufficient] to prove to jury beyond a reasonable doubt.”

Domestic violence situations are complex and always terrible, but even the thought of Milton Bradley playing "stop hitting yourself" with his wife (or any woman) is disgusting. Suddenly I'm less than excited about having him on my favorite team.

People injured by Bud Black - an exclusive club of one

- The infamous umpire incident. I'm actually willing to give Milton the benefit of the doubt here. Umpire Mike Winters is apparently a bit of a dick. You know what actually excites me about this? The idea that Rob Drake might piss him off this season and get his dumb ass headbutted.


You know how hard it is to find pictures of Bradley shoving or yelling at someone? The answer is "not very."

- The man can hit, but he's also got a severely underdeveloped sense of irony. "You dare imply that I've made some bad decisions? I'll kill the shit out of you!!!" Nope, nothing wrong with this guy - why would anyone have any criticism?

You ever get sick of posting pictures of baseball players and just really want to put up pictures of public schools in Massachusetts? Man, I do.

Of course, everyone makes mistakes. That why I'm sure Cubs fans will welcome Bradley with open arms until he either murders a journalist or goes into a hitting slump - whichever comes first. Let's just hope Bradley can make the most of this fresh start and straighten out the difficulties of the past. After all, that's how you play ... the game of Life



BWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Board game puns are now banned.

1 comments:

Guy in the middle of the Pacific said...

Peter Gammons said that Bradley was the only guy to constantly write and check up on him when he was in the hospital. You have to give the guy some credit for that.