Dempster Gets Paid, Cubs Fill Equal Opportunity "Canadian" Quota

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Dempster Gets Paid, Cubs Fill Equal Opportunity "Canadian" Quota

. Tuesday, November 18, 2008

According to my sources (okay, according to Paul Sullivan at the Trib), the Cubs and Ryan Dempster have come to terms on a 4-year contract that will pay righty/Canadian Ryan Dempster $52 million dollars, or in Canadian dollars, $Infinity Billion Dollars. We've had our issues with Dempster Baby in the past - namely, every single time we saw him close a game in the 9th and game 1 of the 2008 NLDS - but we're glad he's back. I'm not going to hold my breath, but imagine if we pulled a deal for Jake Peavy out of our asses. Zambrano, Dempster, Peavy, Harden, and Lilly. I'm not even going to put those in order, because you could make an argument for pretty much any order there. But again, I'm not getting my hopes up.


Every Canadian ever, according to top experts

Congrats, Dempster Baby. With this shit-ton of money from Big Daddy Jim, you won't have to work for the Royal Canadian Mounted Police in the offseason anymore.



3 comments:

Richard said...

I'm happy to see Dempster stay, but troubled that you're not keeping up with the news: The Canadian dollar is worth almost as much as ours now!

Which is not much of an accomplishment, sadly.

Steve said...

its actually even better that the canadian dollar is almost worth as much as ours, and they still have to pay more for books. TAKE THAT, CANADA!

Sarah said...

Wow, you're right. That probably explains the rampant and rising illiteracy up in "america's hat" (I mean, c'mon, that's basically all they are)