When Fandom Goes Too Far: 10 Lame Things to Buy on Cubs.com

Doing my commerce in the city, I tend to spend a lot of time around Cubs merchandise. Come summer, every place from Wrigleyville Sports to the corner liquor store has a display of Cubs stuff for sale. With all this team-licensed stuff floating around, a goodly amount of it is destined to be crap. And so, behold today's greatest finds:

10

"Dirt coin" sounds like two random words placed together. At the Cubs online store, it'll set you back $60. For dirt. I won't even point out that neither 1907's nor 1908's title took place at Wrigley. But it someone's dumb enough to buy dirt, I'm sure they're not checking for accuracy.

9

Silly sign, there's no parking around Wrigley Field. Real Wrigley parking signs have $40 and an arrow somewhere on there.

8

"Custom team photograph - for when your custom jersey just isn't douchey enough"

7

Child abuse!

6

Just like Daryle Ward wears

5

If you wear these, you deserve to get your feet caught in an escalator

4

Of course someone named Gene would buy this. Or Floyd, or Barry, or Carlton.

3

There are two things Alyssa Milano does well - acting and designing jorts. Wait, come to think of it, she doesn't do either of those things very well.

2
A satin jacket?!? Milano, you've hit it out of the park again!

1

"I love the long sleeve under short sleeve look, but I'm losing hours per year putting on two shirts. There's got to be a better way!" Well now there is, you lazy fuck!