Rays Make the World Series: Why Dost Thou Hate Us So, O Lord?

Monday, October 20, 2008

Rays Make the World Series: Why Dost Thou Hate Us So, O Lord?

. Monday, October 20, 2008


Stupid jerks

Last night, the Tampa Bay Rays willed themselves past the loser-turned-powerhouse Boston Red Sox to advance to the World Series. Sigh. I don't even have the energy left for one big lung-busting "FUCK" right now. I'm just so depressed about baseball.


Somehow, while winning the ALCS, the Rays also won a bowling league trophy

It's not enough that we've been losers for the better part of a century. No, Fate must further deliver the donkey punch to our collective hope by forming nobodies into winners while our highly-paid players spend most of October golfing and catching up on XBox. Since I've been a Cubs fan, I've seen the Arizona Diamondbacks, Colorado Rockies, Florida Marlins, and now Tampa Bay Rays win pennants long after A-Ram has turned in another 1-16 series. There's literally nothing holding us back but clutch hitting and possibly the weight of expectations.


Welcome to Cubs Fan Land, Sox fan

You know who doesn't have to read a thousand stories about what losers they are? The Tampa Rays. You know who doesn't have the words "Billy Goat," "Bartman," and "choke" imprinted in their collective subconscious? The Tampa Rays. You know who gets to go to the World Series? The Tampa Rays. Baseball - and Dick Vitale, for that matter - can suck my ass.

4 comments:

J.J. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
J.J. said...

Thanks for telling it like it is. I try to muster up some happiness for Phillies and Rays fans, and just can't do it. I'm bitter and I'm tired of pretending I'm better than that. The last two weeks have sucked no matter how you look at it.

Emily said...

Let's look at the bright side...the Red Sox lost.

Jen said...

I'd like to add my ass to that suck list also, please.