NLDS Preview: The Outfield (In Haiku)

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

NLDS Preview: The Outfield (In Haiku)

. Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Okay, it's the third preview in our illustrious series, and I think I'm finally getting this succinctness down. We've got Manny versus Fonzie in the outfield, with a whole bunch of other guys thrown in. And I'm going to look at this situation via that most succinct of arts - haiku. Once again, we dip into my expensive English lit degree for a mid-week blog post about outfielders. Cubs are in dapper blue, Dodgers in whorish pink.

Alfonso Soriano (LF)

hops like a small girl
with every fly he catches
when he can, that is

Manny Ramirez (LF)

that on base average
means "Manny being Manny"
may ruin our shit

Jim Edmonds (CF)

i had this nightmare
i'm cheering for a Cardinal
then I don't wake up

Matt Kemp (CF)

all that i can say
is that i wish that suckass
Andruw Jones was here

Kosuke Fukudome (RF)

me being Irish,
okay to write a haiku
about Kosuke here?

Andre Ethier (RF)

a solid lefty
both French and Mexican
Republicans hate him

Reed Johnson (Bench)

wins game after game
still stuck coming off the bench
must be the goatee

Juan Pierre (Bench)

ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
no, seriously

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