Cubs Pick Up Harden Option, One More Year of Erection Jokes on WAIW

Friday, October 10, 2008

Cubs Pick Up Harden Option, One More Year of Erection Jokes on WAIW

. Friday, October 10, 2008


What you'd get if you managed a Denny's for 430 years

It's not really a surprise, but since we're in mourning, this qualifies as Great Fucking News (TM). The Cubs have decided to employ the club option on Rich Harden's contract, a move that will buy us ace-caliber pitching for $7 million in 2009. That is really damn cheap, considering that we will pay Jason Marquis more than that if he's still slulking around our dugout next year.

Did I just hear a ripping sound? I hope I didn't

Since we acquired him in a "fuck you" move toward Milwaukee, the man Steve refers to as Harden My Pants pitched 71 innings in 12 games, going 5-1 with a 1.77 ERA. Jim Hendry, architect of our NL Central champions, told the Trib that "Rich Hardens are hard to find." And to think Steve and I consider the man a genius. He also acknowledged that we have to treat him with tender, loving care because Harden is a special, special snowflake and breaks easier than a knockoff Korean Game Boy. Harden's combined 148 innings last year beat the shit out of the 72 innings he pitched in 2005 and 2006.

The man looks good in pinstripes

No surprise here, but it does give us an interesting situation with the rotation next year. Harden, Zambrano, and Lilly are locked into three rotation slots, but where do we go from there? We're going to attempt to resign Ryan Dempster Baby, but what if he takes off? Or what if his last season was lightning in a bottle, a-la Joe Browoski in 2003? Also, are we going to pursue another starter, or hope that Sean Marshall (maybe), Jason Marquis (probably not), or Rich Hill (hahaha!) will be able to take that next step needed to keep us in contention? If there's one thing I know, it's that you can never tell what the rotation's going to turn out to be down the stretch, even if you're guessing on Opening Day. At least we've got Harden locked down - cheap humor is a godsend to this blog.

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