Cubs 4 - Cardinals 3: Ted Lilly, Baddest Man in the Whole Damn Town

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Cubs 4 - Cardinals 3: Ted Lilly, Baddest Man in the Whole Damn Town

. Thursday, September 11, 2008

After Lilly smashed into Molina, the cops came to take away a shirtless Lilly. Molina stood by the car crying, saying "don't take him to jail, I looooove him! It's my fault, I got in his way!" while smoking a Winston

After Tuesday's loss to the Cards, a newly Not-So-Sweet Lou suggested that the Cubs need to drop the shit and start kicking ass. Exactly one man complied last night - and it was the last man you'd expect. Frequent punching bag Theodore Roosevelt Lilly toyed with the Cardinals last night over 8 innings and went so far as to knock Yadier Molina out of the game on a play that had me humming "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown" in appreciation. I can only find it as part of Deadspin's morning video mixtape, where it's about 2:00 in. Also, as a bonus, you get to hear Tony Kornheiser say that Jessica Simpson is "running her fat yap," which made me think I'd tuned into "Mad Men" accidentally. Enjoy, and listen for the thudding sound of the Cardinals dropping into 4th place.

Mike Piazza called - he wants his vagina back

Offensively, things followed the same script as Tuesday's loss: Lots of hitting early, a couple runs, and then nothing for the last half of the game. We didn't get a damn hit after the fourth inning yesterday. We put up 2 hits per inning through 4, and then ... poof. Nothing. Given Wood's shaky outing, the blame for a bad loss might again have come to the offense. Hopefully the "kick ass" lesson takes another day to sink in for them. At least they got to see Ted Lilly pound on Yadier like a furious sack of justice doorknobs.

Super crazy hero fighting time!

Also of note was Soriano's 8th outfield assist of the year to gun out former Cub mistake Cesar Izturis. On the slow-mo replay, it appeared that Izturis was safe. It also appeared that he was wearing a Cardinals uniform, so I don't fucking care. Fuku got things going early for the Cubs with a single, but finished with yet another 1-4 day. It seems like everyone seems to accept Lou's solution to give him days off, but every time that happens, he just comes back and resumes the 1-4 pace. Something needs to be fixed - hopefully soon, because we love the Fuku over here.

After perfecting the no look pitch, Lilly is set to introduce his behind the back pitch

Getting rocked last time out seems to have agreed with Teddy. After a short start and plenty of rest, the lefty only gave up 5 hits and 1 run in 8 innings. I'm starting to think the Cubs should just have a 10-man rotation and everyone can pitch on a shitload of rest. It will work, I swear.

Lilly and Molina both saw the dollar on the ground at the same time

Today is the series decider against the Redbirds, and I want this series badly. Not only for the important road series win, but to get that magic number to something other than 13. It's the supersition in me. Rich "Random Erection Joke" Harden is coming back to the rotation after long rest that seemingly convinced everyone in town that he was done for. I'd love him to hold the Cards to just a run or two, but I'd much rather he get a 10-run cushion and not have to be lights out. Lou is right, we need to kick some ass. Today would be a great time to do it.