Meanwhile, on the Other Side of Our Fair City

Monday, August 4, 2008

Meanwhile, on the Other Side of Our Fair City

. Monday, August 4, 2008

The ugly step-sister of Chicago baseball has had a rather rough weekend. After allowing the Twins within a whisper of first place, the Sox looked to be going toward another loss yesterday versus the Pittsburgh Pir... Kansas City Royals. Bases loaded, down 7-0, with Miguel Olivo at the plate, and our (un)lovable Venez-Wailin' Ozzie Guillen, decied to plunk Olivo. The first one, up and in, sent Olivo to the dirt. Unfortunately, it missed him, but with the added benefit of hitting the bat and actually being called a strike (neat trick). The second pitch was right on the money, and Olivo was no sooner up than charging the mound. Just before Olivo readied to deliver some pity to fools, White Sox catcher/douchebag A.J. Pierzynski restrained Olivo. Or did he?
You see, if you examine moment, frozen in time, this masterpiece of melee, you'll see that there is clearly an A.J. impostor present in the scrum. "But who?" you ask. Well, dear readers, it appears to be none other than Food Network diner coneissour/T.G.I. Friday's pitchman Guy Fieri, victor of season 2 of The Next Food Network Star.

Chilling! Normally, we would interrogate this impostor as to A.J.'s whereabouts and demand his safe return. Then we remembered he's a member of the White Sox, so the hell with that. Just one request, dear readers. Let us not gloat in the 2nd favorite Sox and their loss of first place, especially to Sox fan acquaintances. A) It's jackassy behavior more befitting of a Sox fan than a blue bleeder and B) Going into August with a 5 game lead, the last thing we need is bad karma. Even if you don't believe in that (and usually I don't), you will respect this hippie superstition during our stretch run. Or so help me, I'm going to start going into 1969 flashback palpatations - which is a hell of a thing, since I was a long ways from being born in 1969.