Houston Astros Roster: Pro Ballplayers or Foppish Dandies?

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Houston Astros Roster: Pro Ballplayers or Foppish Dandies?

. Thursday, August 7, 2008


"How horrible," the Astro said with a tone of disgust. "New money."


I grew up in a family of Mikes, Steves, and Johns - to my nearly-a-nun grandmother, naming a kid something like Brooklyn, Sage, or Skylar would be more than just lame, it would be sacrilegious. As such, I tend to be hyper-sensitive about child abuse in the form of bad naming. It's like an allergy - or maybe just a mundane Midwestern version of gay-dar. This asisnine sixth sense was a-screamin' throughout the series with the Astros. And so I present to you the roster of the Houston Astros.

Playing 3rd, and continuously powdering his favorite through 3rd favorite wigs, young master Ty Wigginton.


Holding down the infield, and pitching, respectively, and begging you to stop prounouncing it "Gay-hoff," light-hitting Geoff Blum and light-throwing Geoff Geary
Patrolling the outfield, and helping to bring back the manservant as a popular concept, Hunter Pence
Rounding out the bullpen, and taking worldly advice from wacky but wise Mr. Belvedere, Wesley Wright

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hahahah love it!

Sarah said...

haha awesome.