Bush Leagues; Donde Estas, Rich Hill?

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Bush Leagues; Donde Estas, Rich Hill?

. Thursday, August 14, 2008

The Daytona Cubs must get their uniforms designed at the same place that does the sno-cone vendor uniforms for Six Flags

So a post over at Cub Blogging brought up an unfamiliar thought today - where the hell is former Wonder Boy Rich Hill, and how is it we haven't even heard him making noise down in AAA? Well, for one thing, that would be because he's currently on the roster of the single-A Daytona Cubs. And those back issues? Well, they've apparently graduated from "issues" to "life-ruining career molesters." The media department of the Daytona Cubs being what it is (that is to say non-existant), the only release on Hill I could find was their giddy dated announcement that Hill would be joining them for a rehab assignment. Well, that has now turned into this:

A blurry assault on good taste

No picture, no stats, just an anonymous injured schlub on one of a million single-A ballclubs. It's sad really - especially after the usually trustworthy Lou Piniella stuck by him early on in the season. And by "stuck by," I mean "exercized Love Smith-esque levels of denial and tried to force-fit a pitcher who couldn't throw strikes onto the staff of a major league division contender." Considering that he was all we (we being Cubs fans collectively, not the non-existant at the time WAIW) could talk about last year, it shows how much things can change. Hill looked to be a future All-Star as our team struggled just to stay within single digits of the NL Central lead. Funny how much has changed in the back half of 2007 and the start of 2008.

This Rich Hill rookie card (with autograph) is an investment, in the same way a sub-prime mortgage or producer's credit in "Speed Racer" is an investment

Oh, and the Daytona Cubs have the worst Web site I have ever seen for an organized sports team. I think they paid a fat junior high kid in HoHos to program this from Geocities during his study hall period.

One of his 5 tools is autographing the armpit of his own cards. He's currently leading the minors in this category.

In case you're wondering about the outfielder who was a few crescent wrenches short of being a 5-tool player, I'd like you to know that Felix Pie is currently hitting .289 in Iowa, with 14 walks and 37 strikeouts in 263 at-bats. And he's got a stellar .233 average against lefties. Certainly looks as if he's found a home in Iowa - possibly for good.

Like Josh Hamilton, without the arm candy

Also, on August 9, Micah Hoffpaur, who stayed long enough in the bigs to steal a shitload of workout towels from the bowels of Wrigley, hit 4 home runs in 5 at-bats. He's currently got a .374 average. Be afraid, Daryl Ward.


Bree said...

Yeah, sad trombone!

John said...

I know - it's so useful, I'm worried about over-utilizing it. Being fans of our beloved team, I'm sure we could all find half a dozen sad trombone occasions per week.