Weekend Recap: Still in First, Not Much Else

Monday, July 21, 2008

Weekend Recap: Still in First, Not Much Else

. Monday, July 21, 2008


Can't imagine why this is no longer an acceptable logo.

A few months ago, Steve commented on this very blog that he expected the Astros to pose the most serious challenge to our beloved Cubbies down the stretch. I initially agreed, but upon attending a game last weekend and seeing their sad pennant at the bottom of the flag pole, figured it was a mistaken prediction. This weekend reminded me why it was a solid prediction at the time - the stupid Astros always seem to beat us when they shouldn't. Once again, we went into that stupid choo-choo train joke of a ballpark and once again, we lost a series to an inferior team.

Lilly points, then commands attack baseball to kill.

Friday saw a 7-inning, 1-run effort by Ted Lilly get wasted when the offense couldn't push more than a single run across the plate against the team formerly known as the Colt .45s. Cubs come back from the All-Star break and lose 2-1 due to lack of offense. In other news, day is night, black is white, and hamburgers eat people.


Gracias a dios, his underarms have stayed cool and dry, with the unbeatable power of RightGuard (TM).

Saturday was more of the same - Carlos Zambrano gave up 4 runs in less than 7, but also provided the only scoring with a solo shot. He now holds the Cubs career home run record for pitchers. Fergie Jenkins must be rolling in his grave ... oh wait, what's that now? Apparently Fergie Jenkins is still around. I'd like to see him come back to try to tie up Big Z. We could turn it into a Disney Channel Family Movie of the Week. Starring that guy who played Carl Winslow as Fergie and comedy sensation Sinbad as the hot-blooded Venezuelan who learns from his new teammate - not just about baseball, but about life.


Canadian

Going into Sunday, there was serious worry that we may come back to a sweep and the continued erosion of the 4-game lead that looked a lot bigger before the break. Ryan Dempster was on the mound, and he's not exactly been getting good breaks on the road. Well, Dempster picked a good time to snag his first W away from the Friendly Confines. Also, you're welcome for the nickname Malibu Mike, because doubtless you were screaming it throughout Sunday's ass-kicking. Despite starting the year off hitting sub-.250 and looking generally outclassed, Mr. Malibu has been tearing it up recently. He gave the Cubs a bit more breathing room in the 5th with his 8th (!!!) homer of the year and has raised his batting average to .278. His college teammate, Orlando Bloom look-alike Ryan Theriot, also smacked around Brandon Bakke and a host of forgettable relievers to bump his average to an incredible .329. Even Carlos Marmol pitched a scoreless 9th inning, providing that glimmer of hope I need going into the road series at Arizona. The D-Backs are 48-50, but they're in first place in a nearly worthless division. Lucky bastards.


"I'm going to smash that damn choo-choo"

Both the Brewers and the Cardinals took all 3 over the weekend, so we're down to a 2-game lead in the division with Milwaukee just 3 back. Have I mentioned before how much I hate Brewers fans? I mean, we all hate the Cardinals as our traditional rival, but how much do you hate some chubby feet-smelling Marquette frat guy with man boobs suddenly jawing at you like his team hasn't been the most pathetic in baseball for the lion's share of the past two decades? Congrats on getting Sabathia - I hope you don't start cutting yourself when this year's $90 million payroll leads to yet another year without playoffs and another decade of going to the game just for the sausage races.


Miguel Tejada reacts to me jiggling my keys in front of him.

Tonight's match-up is slated to be Rich "Please Love Me" Harden and Randy "No, I'm not Dead" Johnson. It should be amazing, but the last time a Johnson-anchored duel got me all excited (Johnson/Zambrano on Mother's Day), we instead got Gallagher and some schlub from Arizona's farm system. Cross your fingers for this one to happen - could be a classic.

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