Cubs 7 - Brewers 1: Making Him Look Like Sheets

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Cubs 7 - Brewers 1: Making Him Look Like Sheets

. Wednesday, July 30, 2008


Zambrano really carried the team last night ... HAHAHAHA - OW! Stop hitting me!


Puns are fun, aren't they? Really, everything is that much better when your team beats those schnitzel-throating glandular cases from Milwaukee. I swear, I think I saw Prince Fielder's thighs catch on fire due to friction during one of his rare lumbering fielding attempts.

Geo Soto's pitching advice to Z somehow sidetracked into pillow talk

The matchup of aces was tense through the first 5 innings, with both teams failing to break the game open against the other's pitching. All the nervous Brewers fans (circa 2007) were stone silent, and Miller Park looked to have a sort of paranoid/tense atmosphere going. Sort of like when you're on the L, and a "down on his luck" guy makes an announcement to the car that he's trying to get his life back on track and could he please have some money to buy stuff to go on a job interview - and then the bottle of Popov falls out of his Charlotte Hornets Starter jacket. It was thank kind of unspeaking tense.


Sheets discusses strategy with his best friend, Glovey

Finally, blog favorite Kosuke Fukudome provided the spark that broke the game wide open. Or Ryan Braun did, depending on where you want to see credit given. With A-Ram and Lee on 2nd and 3rd in the top of the 6th, Fuku smacked what looked like a soft single into left toward Ryan "Chosen One" Braun. Instead of play it safe - you know, because the bases were fucking loaded - Braun instead went for a diving catch that ended up going under (?!?) him and to the wall, giving Fuku a triple and scoring both runners to run the game to 3-0. Our boys then proceeded to push 3 more runs across the plate in the same inning, including DeRo getting hit in the back by a J.J. Hardy throw on an attempted force at home. As bad as things go for us some times, things were doubly crappy for the Brewcrew last night. Needless to say, Sheets did not last through 6. Excuse me while I play a sad tune on this conveniently placed violin.


Carlos takes a measured approach to his terrible bunt attempt - first snapping the bat like a lunatic and then strolling back to the dugout with the bearing of the finest English gent.

Last night's game was a total team effort - every single Cub got a hit last night. A-Ram busted out of a recent slump, and Kosuke collected a double to go along with his game-breaking triple. If we were ESPN, Steve and I would have talked incessantly about how he was only a single and a home run short of the cycle. Then we would kill ourselves, because we would be Jon Miller and Joe Morgan. Perhaps even more noteworthy was the pitching of Big Z - 8 IP, 5 H, 0 ER, 2 BB, 9 K. He threw 118 pitches, but even more importantly, gave the bullpen the night off. Also, he didn't mentally go off the rails after popping out on the worst bunt attempt I've seen in awhile and snapping the bat over his leg. Our lead was so unassailable by the end that we let Sloth from The Goonies come in and give up a run to close out the game.


Sabathia's note to "co-ace" Ben Sheets displays some poor, if heartwarming, grammar

So much for the Wisconsin press talking sweep, or at least the first two guaranteed for the "co-aces." (When I hear them called "co-aces," I imagine them rollerblading together through Coney Island and stopping to pull out fruit rollups and starburst from their fanny packs to eat under the shade of a tree with their initials carved inside a heart. Fucking Adorable is what that is.)

5 comments:

Wolfie said...

Just starting reading your blog this week - from your hatred of Jackass Joe (Morgan) to the childhood love for Old Style, I'm right with you (not to mention I now have something to divert my attention from the incessant recalculating of Obama's electoral votes on Nate Silver's page). That said, how do you feel about cutting out the A-Ram? You could go with Rami, or Arami-Rami, or anything else.
Anyhow, love it, keep it up, and go Cubbies.

Steve said...

CENSORSHIP!

What brings on this anti-a-ram sentiment? is it the a-rod connotation? do you hate hyphens? I am just trying to understand the motivation. if there is good enough reason, i will put it up to the poll, and let the people decide.

Wolfie said...

Whoah there! Just a little constructive criticism - not trying to censor anybody here.

But yes, it inevitably reminds me of A-Rod, and it's a horrible thing to be reminded of him.

Plus, I like Rami, and also, since it happens to work, Arami Rami.

In any case, thanks for asking. And I love the polling the people idea.

God I love watching Theriot slash opo like that.

Wolfie said...

I should say again, I spent too long today catching up on the old posts - my lord there are some gems in there! It makes me look forward to the rest of this season even more.

wolfie said...

ok, its more than that:
its unoriginal - i dont want another letter-dash-something guy (especially one that sounds like a known douche). also, its oafie, unlike the graceful guy we have at third who barehanded the slow chopper earlier and picked that line drive in the 8th.

ok, im sorry, ill stop now.